It’s been almost two months since we closed on Mr. 1980. To say that I’m ready to jump into another relationship…I mean project…is an understatement. The problem is, it’s been tricky catching the eye of this next Mr. These guys have been playing hard to get and when I think about it, I’m doing the same thing.
“Hard to get” is the dance everyone knows but not necessarily the favorite. Unfortunately, it’s a must in sales. There’s a dance off going on whether you want to participate or not. Sometimes it’s a breakdance you can hardly keep up with; other times it’s a subtle slow dance you know well. I’m straight forward and certainly not a game player, but when it comes to business: selling yourself, a product or a service, just the right amount of shoulder brush is necessary. Go on, it worked for Jay Z.In all honesty, the dance doesn’t come easy for me. If I like something or someone it usually shows. Shopping for a new car…I’ve been known to botch that up. I can’t contain my giddiness or excitement. Apparently the eyes are not only the windows to the soul, but to what you’re willing to pay. A new house? If I wasn’t in the business, I’d be a goner. After 14 years of practice, I do have that hard to get dance down pat. I’ll bust a move and negotiate like a pro for my clients and Homes by 1962, but when it comes to a house that I want…forget it. It’s torture. I’d like to pay whatever and seal the deal, but that’s not how it works. You have to do the dance, even when you have sweaty palms and you’re sure your legs won’t move another minute.
There’s a new client you’d like to work with. You want to follow up…again…but you can’t seem too eager or desperate. You’ll lose them. Back it up and have patience my friend. Wait for the next song. Speaking of friends..meet a new one? You’d love to ask them to lunch or over for dinner but you can’t come on too strong. You have to play it right with a smooth slide. Everyone is in on the dance. A great server is doing the tight rope for their tip, a sales person is standing casually close but not breathing down your neck and even the homeless man is thinking about the look away or stare down in hopes for more change. Whether you’re dressed to the nines, effortlessly chic or you’ve been in the same clothes for weeks, you’re dancing. Right now my feet are killing me.
We spin in and out. We move away from each other and back. Shimmy, shimmy over and give your best shake. Some might even break out an old school move like the coffee grinder. That’s sure to get you the deal. And if you’re really good, just when you’ve got the eye lock, you’ll brush your shoulder off and walk away. Because sometimes you have to act like you don’t care in order to get what you want. Ugh. It kills me to say that…but you know what else kills? Desperate. Desperate is a deal killer.
In the end, like everything, it’s all about balance. Negotiations will not always go our way. If everyone was standing on their head in yoga, it would be boring. Modifications are necessary. We need the mix. We need the trips, the dips and sometimes we need to fall flat on our face in front of the class. It makes the headstand we finally nail that much sweeter. Yes, negotiations can feel like a sweaty mosh pit and you’re stuck in the middle. They can’t all be beautiful ballets. Choreographed spins, lifts and a company of dancers moving back and forth across a stage in perfect time is utopia, not the norm. If things were so fluid there would be no mystery, no excitement. Not knowing what someone will say or do can be fun if we just embrace the uncertainty. The grandmother in “Parenthood” had it right. We have to buckle up, throw our hands in the air and welcome the click, click, click of the roller coaster. It’s the drop to come and the wild ride after that’s most exciting.
In a previous post (see “Be True to You”) I mention the Arizona heat and my hopes that a little sweat will melt the heart of my next man. Our dreaded summer is just around the corner. We’re bracing for it. By the time this post is published, we will have hit the triple digits. Today, we’re relishing in perfect weather but there’s a rising, bitter sweet breeze in the air. We all know the goodbye is coming. The cool train is just about to leave the station.
While we wave goodbye…we say hello to endless pool time, iced anything, ditching the school schedule, staying up late and sleeping in. Hello sundresses, sun hats and plenty of sunscreen. And, if you’re very lucky, a big hello to the, “where have you been all my life?” vacation. For now, I’m just watching the dot dot dot on my phone with a hopeful smile; it’s the rise of the roller coaster that will eventually lead to my next Mr.