At it’s best, single was a leggy foursome. Head to toe in knockout outfits. Hair flying perfection in the wind. A crowded 5th Avenue faded away, and the standout, synchronized strut was the only thing to notice. Yes, “Sex in the City” put the power in single. It drew in the most devoted and monogamous humans, and made coupling seem comatose. But let’s be honest…what that foursome had was unique.
I may not be single in the technical sense of the word, but it was my status once upon a time, I’ve lived the single life through my mom and when it comes to my love affairs with these houses…I am very alone at the moment. Before you feel one ounce of pity for me, stop. I understand the knee jerk reaction. It’s common. Hearing someone is single provokes immediate follow ups such as: “Why?” “How long has it been?” “Would they like to be set up?” But the question is…why are people so hell bent on forcing the world into duos?
Of course. There’s a time and place to be united. You find the peanut butter to your jelly, the yin to your yang, the salt to your pepper…whatever you want to call it. But unless you find someone that brings out your very best, deals with you at your absolute worst and loves you just the same…there’s merit in being on your own. Being solo can be necessary. It can be freeing. Single can be so essential that without it, you may never find your true happiness. Gulp. In other words, if the sidekick you have going on is not take your breath away fabulous most of the time? Why bother? Life. Is. Short.
And because life passes us by too fast, my single status of the moment is okay with me. In fact, I’m feeling empowered. The hardest part of the whole transition from devoted love to being alone, was knowing that our goodbye was imminent. There was a time before it was officially over with my last love. I was blue thinking about what day to day life would be like without my man. It was a waning moon I would watch closely each night. But when the last sliver of light had finally gone, and the sky turned dark, I started to feel the new phase…and I liked what I felt.
Each morning wasn’t consumed with my list of who and what I was expecting at the house. Every day wasn’t booked with the necessary check in or drive by. There was no budget to stress over. No time constraints. Deep breaths weren’t necessary when things didn’t go according to plan. No one was waiting for their check. And I didn’t get a single dreaded text with the, “not today but tomorrow it will be done for sure” story. All I had to think about was that somewhere, at some time, I would find my next project. The daydream phase. Where he might be, his size and condition were mysteries. And mysterious is fantastic. In fact, we should all add a little to our repertoires, it keeps life interesting.
So what have I been doing with my single self? Well, I’m doing things like boarding a plane to Mexico City and leaving without a single drop of worry or doubt about a mid-stream Mr. I’m adiosing to get inspired, because you can do that when you’re not attached. I’m soaking up as much design and exceptional architecture inspiration in the midst of one of the world’s most exciting cities. My mid-century, Mexican modern hombre may or may not be the next one, but he’s in the lineup somewhere. And when the timing is right, I’ll know exactly what to do with him.
So here I am. Turning down a new corner, not knowing what I’ll see. I’m soaking in the world around me with eyes wide open. Life is all about learning from each experience and doing it better the next time. When things go right and you get the results you’re looking for, keep at it and move ahead. If all goes wrong and you’re left with a sea of fallen dominos, you’re in a powerful position. Start building them back up. But do it a little different this time, because something needs to be tweaked. Making the same mistake twice and watching them fall again will be too painful. I’m walking alone down some street and can’t even tell you the name, in a neighborhood I’ve never stepped into. No, it’s not 5th Avenue but I bet I’m feeling something similar the leggy foursome felt…all the possibility in the world. And you know what’s the best part? The next play is in my hands.